f You’re Gonna Be Weird, Be Confident About It: The Life and Times of an Extraordinary R-Town Original
Some people tiptoe through life, cautiously testing the waters, keeping their weird tucked neatly behind a veneer of normalcy. Not me. I cannonballed into the deep end of weird a long time ago, and I have no intention of getting out.
I’ve always been the guy willing to dance on the edge of convention, sometimes teetering over it entirely. Call it a public service—I like to think my antics give others permission to let their own weird shine. Because let’s be honest: weird is fun. Weird is interesting. Weird is what makes life worth living.
The Making of a Professional Weirdo
I hail from Burien, Washington, where my childhood consisted of all the usual activities: riding bikes, playing lawn darts (back when they were legal and could still double as medieval weapons), and participating in playground traditions like getting punched by a one-legged kid. (Listen, Corbin Doxy had some serious upper body strength, and I was in no position to challenge it.)
There was also my first kiss—Rhonda Williams, recess, a playground-wide synchronized makeout session. Imagine a school bell signaling not just the end of lunch but the start of 30 seconds of pre-teen romance. Weird? Absolutely. But, hey, confidence.
I honed my skills in tomfoolery at Cascade Middle School and Evergreen High, making lifelong friends along the way. One of them, John Sanders, has been my co-conspirator since we were five, back when our biggest ambition was digging holes in the backyard with Tonka trucks. We found our comedic rhythm in high school, bouncing between breakdancing, bizarre voices, and deep appreciation for the absurd genius of Steve Martin.
A Career in Comedy, Culinary Arts, and Trash Collection
I eventually took my love of laughter and good company into the hospitality business, co-founding The Whistle Stop Alehouse in downtown Renton—a staple in the community for 30 years. The Whistle Stop has hosted wedding receptions, retirements, and enough Brewers Nights pickel the state of Montana
My sense of humor is mostly refined, though I have a complicated relationship with sarcasm. I used to think sarcasm was universally understood—turns out, it’s mostly just me laughing at my own jokes while everyone else blinks in confusion. Still, I persist, because evolution is key to my personal growth and evolution.
Speaking of persistence, I also pick up trash. Yep, you read that right. I made a commitment. Modt every day you’ll see me on Third Avenue in downtown Renton, collecting what society and the wind has distributed onto our streets and sidewalks. If we all picked up one piece of trash everyday i believe the world would be a better and clearer place.
The Podcast, The Empire, and The Future of Weirdness
Now, I’ve been invited by Charles and Mike to be part of their R-Town Extraordinar, a podcast on the R-Town Network, where I plan to contribute my playfulness to the masses. The podcast taped in my business and is part of my larger venture, I Am Renton, which I envision as both a cultural movement and a lucrative excuse to put my face on T-shirts, no scratch that coffe mugs and mouse pads. I’ll also be running Jet City Live and Cedar Stream Studios, a rentable creative space for podcasts, yoga, and whatever other legally permissible activities people need a venue for. Is cat juggling legal in this country? Sign me up!
The long game? Turning I Am Renton into a TikTok LIVE SOCIAL SHOPPING powerhouse—because why just sell burgers and beer when I can sell literally everything to millions of people with a well-placed “Buy Now” button? Call it ambition. Call it the “QVCification or Call it madness.” Either way, I’m in. Now all I need are some business cards!
The Pinball Wizard & The Near-Death Perspective Shift
When I’m not running businesses, making people laugh, or picking up after them, you can find me at 8-Bit Arcade, perfecting my pinball game. My specialties? Godzilla, Attack from Mars, The Dark Knight, and Elton John. (Yes, Elton John has a pinball machine, and yes, it’s fabulous.) I recently placed fourth in a tournament, which means I’m practically a professional.
But all jokes aside, life has given me some serious perspective. In August 2023, I had a near-death experience battling melanoma that had spread to my lungs. Friends and family came to say goodbye, which, as you might imagine, really puts things into focus. I came out of it with an even stronger resolve: like the ol saying goes “live every day like it’s your last, because someday it will be.” I refuse to waste time worrying about what people think—I’m going to be weird, and I’m going to own it.
Family, Dogs, and the Road Ahead
Through all of this, my greatest pride is my family. My four kids—Georgia, Benjamin, Maxwell, and Virginia—are each incredible in their own way. They are bright, creative, witty conversationalists with a gift for banter, proving that at least some of my parenting efforts were successful.
I’ve also had two great dogs, Chloe and Turtle, who taught me about loyalty, joy, and the crushing weight of pet-related heartbreak. Losing Chloe was devastating, and rehoming Turtle was equally tough. But I keep tabs on him, and knowing he’s thriving in his new environment gives me some peace.
Looking ahead, I have three major bucket list items:
1. Sailing the Greek islands by hitching rides on boats and pretending I know what I’m doing.
2. Touring New Zealand via motorcycle and camper van, learning to fly fish and avoiding any situation that involves orcs or what the hell I if i do run into one I promise to use a condom.
3. Living the van life in a fully decked-out Sprinter van, crisscrossing the U.S. and Canada in search of adventure, great people, and the best roadside diners. I love me a cheeseburger.
Final Thought: Own Your Weirdness
At the end of the day, my philosophy is simple: life is too short to be boring. Be weird. Be playful. Laugh at yourself. Pick up some trash. Play pinball like it’s an Olympic sport. And if you’re going to be weird, for the love of all things holy, be confident about it.
Best Regards,
Jeff Lawrence
